She's got houseplants to keep her company. Bought her a goldfish, she named it after me.

Recent (hilarious) Patient Encounters -- they're 100% real, I couldn't make this up if I tried!

Doctor: "Have you ever had gallstones?"

Patient: "No, but my cat recently had kidney stones."

Doctor: "The pathology report says that the lesion on your face is a basal cell carcinoma."

Patient: "Basil cell carcinoma? You mean, I got it from eating the spice?"