"It is not from ourselves that we learn to be better people." - Wendell Berry

Two interesting insights for you folks....

Insight #1:

Dr. Gilbert Welch: "I think the generic problem is somewhat like the "check engine" lights on your car. Do you have check engines lights? My first car was a '75 Ford Fairlane. There were only two things monitored: my oil pressure and my engine temperature. I now drive a Volvo that is 10 years old, but it is checking about 25 different engine functions. And sometimes a check engine light comes on, and you’re really glad to know, and it leads to something you want to do something about. Sometimes the check engine light is just a nuisance, and it just keeps flashing on and off and the mechanic can’t fix it. And some of the audience might have this experience where they went to get it fixed and it made matters worse. And if you had that experience, you’ve had some of the experience of overdiagnsosis and that’s what I’m worried about. We’re putting more and more check engines lights on the human body. We have to ask ourselves if that is really the best way to get to a healthy society. We’re constantly monitoring for things to be wrong. Is that really the best way to achieve health?"

Insight #2:

Dr. Santher: "Women who have been sexually assaulted should never call themselves 'sexually abused' as this terminology implies that being a victim is now permanently part of their identity. Rather, they should state instead that they have had 'a bad sexual experience' and nothing more. For example, if a house is broken into, we do not refer to it as a 'broken into home' from that moment on. Rather, the house remains 'home' and the burglary is thought of as an experience the home has survived - much like an ice storm.

Also, by referring to the act as an experience rather than a condition, women are given ownership. If abuse is thought of as a passive act on behalf of the victim, this does not empower survivors of rape - how can it? If they did nothing at all to influence the circumstances that allowed the event to occur, there is no way that they can prevent it from happening again and again in the future. Thus, while any house can be broken into at any time, it is understood that this doesn't mean that the house is a bad house or that we cannot do things to prevent or discourage burglaries in the future, such as locking the door, owning a big dog, and/or cultivating good relationships with our neighbors, etc.

While it is true that we may feel uncomfortable living in a house that has been robbed, we can't move every time there is an incident in the neighborhood. We also can't sleep with one eye open every night for the rest of our lives in fear of the experience happening again. With time, love, and work, we will be able to enjoy many christmases, birthdays, and other joyful events in the same house as we continue to make our home there in the future. Eventually, the burglary will only be an unpleasant memory. And this is how it should be with women who have had 'bad sexual experiences'... nothing more than an unpleasant memory that happened in a body otherwise engaged in joyful celebrations."