I am increasingly concerned that I'm in the wrong program. Last Friday, I was reading how Cartesian Dualism was reflected in French garden architecture (particularly at Versailles) and became ridiculously excited.
I cannot claim that any of my research into PTH, cholelithiasis, or splenomegaly have been nearly as fulfilling or thought-provoking.
I'm beginning to panic about the frequency of these intuitions. How can med school possibly be fulfilling if it's only a means to an end?
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze new problems, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
This morning has been a series of misadventures. I got up extra early to go do a clinical placement at the local Diabetes/Endocrine Clinic... and I left extra early because I had to drop by the campus first to pick up my Clinical Skills notes, stethoscope, and coat. I also got a little lost on the way there because Gmaps got it wrong and told me to turn right when I should have turned left... but all in all, I made it there by 8:15 and the clinic was supposed to start at 8:30.
And there I waited, in a deserted hallway, for 45 min.
While I waited, I panicked about being in the wrong location and called poor Scarlet twice at a god-awful early morning hour while simultaneously musing to myself that how can there possibly be another Diabetes/Endocrine Clinic in a city of 130 000?!
It was then that I realized: it's Family Day. I had known that to begin with -- that's why I chose today to go to the Clinic! I had the day off and what better way to spend my holiday than work? Also, the sign up sheet clearly offered Feb 16th as an option and the academic coordinator definitely told me that she had e-mailed the Endo Doc to let her know that I was coming. In fact, she had told that the Endo Doc had also replied along the lines of "Don't be late or I will breathe fire all over you and feed you to my patients, roasted."
Needless to say, I was a little irked as I left the hospital to return home. On the bright side, however, I now have the WHOLE day to do chores, errands, and homework.
...an age that is anything but practical but believes itself to be more practical than any other age. ~Pablo Picasso
Electives are stressful creatures.
Revision: electives are fun and motivating and educational. That's if you survive the process in trying to set one up.
I've been trying to nail down my summer block elective for 2 months now. Eight rejection e-mails later and I've got 1 week to make the NOSM deadline. I am currently juggling 3 balls: NOSM, Greenland, and Tropical Tundra.
I have become a hermit because whenever I talk to anyone else about the elective process, they tell me their amazing stories of their summer plans. Jack, for instance, is doing fly-in's up north (read: far, remote north). The Real Deal is going to cottage country. Steel Wheels is going to the Philippines. Sweet+Splendid is going to Africa. And, as of this moment, I am going nowhere.
To recover from rejection and to maintain morale, I've been trying to set up some horizontal electives. Namely, ER or surgery... since that's what I think I want to go into. With the assistance of 2 administrative assistants and 2 solid weeks of effort, I still haven't managed to get an acknowledgement from any of the local docs.
On the bright side, I discovered that the gym has a change room with a hot tub and cable TV. I go there now not to work out so much as maintain my sanity. Good grief.